A Bedtime Story About Blotto's First Day of School 👽 🏫

[00:00:11] Hello and welcome back to Koala Moon, a podcast of original children's bedtime stories and meditations designed to make bedtimes a dream. Filing in front of me into the Coco Club, we have Trip from Avon in Minnesota, USA, followed next by LV from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada. Ah, hello, welcome Zelda and Calvin from Melbourne, Australia.

[00:00:40] And last but not least, Gracie, come on in. You're from Tasmania, Australia. Thank you for joining up all of you. Thank you for supporting us with your subscription and we hope you enjoy your 500 or so extra stories that you've now got, all of them ad-free. Now, loyal listeners, you may remember our new alien friend, Bleep Bloop. He appeared in the middle of nowhere.

[00:01:06] Well, now his little sister, Blotto, has arrived to join him and she is curious. She loves exploring her new home, but when she hears the piglets chatting about the start of the school semester, she's keen to give it a try. Can you believe that she has never been to school before, not even once?

[00:01:28] So with a shiny foil uniform and no idea what to expect, Blotto bravely heads off for her very first day, ready to discover what this strange new place is all about. Well, I don't know about you, but I am feeling a little tiny bit nervous on her behalf and I need to take some nice long out-breaths just to calm myself down. So let's start with a stretch.

[00:01:58] Arms and legs, fingers and toes all stretched out and then relax. Lovely. Now, let your breath out and then breathe in for 4, 3, 2, 1. And out for 4, 3, 2, 1.

[00:02:22] And out for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathe in big for 4, 3, 2, 1. And let it out slowly for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[00:02:53] That's better. You continue and I'll start Blotto the Aliens' First Day of School by Annabelle Pitcher. Before we begin, here's a quick ad break. Then we'll start tonight's bedtime story. If you'd like to support our podcast, enjoy ad-free listening and unlock all our premium stories, you can join the Coco Club. To join, follow the link in the show notes.

[00:03:21] Here on Koala Moon, we know how helpful a bedtime story can be when your child's mind is still busy at the end of the day. But once your little one is asleep, perhaps you could use some help switching off too. If you find yourself lying in bed thinking about tomorrow's to-do list, you might like Nothing Much Happens, hosted by Katherine Nicolai. As the name suggests, these are cosy, calming stories where nothing much happens.

[00:03:50] There's no plot to follow, just soothing narration, repetition and comforting sensory details to give your busy mind something quiet to focus on. So, after a day of looking after everyone else, it could be a way to wind down for your own bedtime. You can listen to Nothing Much Happens wherever you get your podcasts. Episodes every Monday and Thursday.

[00:04:20] Plotto was finishing a delicious breakfast of curtain pops when she first heard about it. She was sitting in Potato and Beans diner, wondering how to spend the day. She'd only been in the middle of nowhere a short while, and there was still so much to explore. But at the next table, three of Mrs Pig's eight piglets were talking about something Plotto had never heard of before.

[00:04:49] I can't believe school starts today, said Paula. In less than an hour. Paolo grinned, swinging his pink trotters back and forth as he slurped a breakfast smoothie through a straw as curly as his tail. What are you looking forward to most? I can't wait to see our friends.

[00:05:12] School lunches for me, replied Pee Wee, scoffing a piece of toast and chocolate spread and getting it all over his face. I love eating. I don't love watching you eat, said Paula with a grimace. It's playtime for me and all the clubs. Oh, I just love the start of semester, don't you?

[00:05:37] Plotto turned two of her six eyes towards the piglets, keeping the other four on her curtain pops. As a fabric eating alien from Patchwork 73 to 10, she still hadn't got used to normal breakfast cereals in the middle of nowhere. Every day, the two roller skating cats who ran the diner rustled up a bowl of fabric. But now, she was too curious to eat it. What were the piglets talking about?

[00:06:07] Plotto decided to find out. Blim, blom, blep, said Plotto, speaking bleepish. Then she remembered her English. What's a semester? It's what you call a block of time at school, explained Paula. The school year is divided into two big semesters. Blotto frowned. What's a school?

[00:06:33] The three piglets looked at each other, their mouths hanging open. Paolo's trotters stopped swinging. Hang on a minute, said Pee-wee, climbing down and waddling over to join her. You don't know what school is. Blotto felt rather embarrassed. She decided to bluff it. Blop, blop, blip. Of course I know what school is.

[00:07:01] I love the start of, um, semester. It's so semester-y. So you're starting? Asked Pee-wee, his eyes big and round. Hey, Paolo. Hey, Paula. We're going to have an alien at school. Blotto leant back and nodded. School. Blum, blop. Have you got your uniform?

[00:07:29] Paula asked, trotting over to stand in front of Blotto. Her large ears quivering with interest, said Blotto. Uniform? Yes. Mrs Pig emerged from the kitchen in an apron. Look sharp, you three. Semester starts in 45 minutes. Go and get dressed.

[00:07:53] The three piglets said goodbye, telling Blotto they'd see her shortly for something called registration. Blotto finished her curtain pops in silence, turning the strange words over in her head. Uniform. School. Registration. What were the pigs talking about? What's a uniform?

[00:08:22] Blotto asked Ma Alien. As soon as she got back to the disused fabric factory, the aliens from Patchwork 73-210, now called home. Ma Alien was at the cutting table, chopping silk for Bleak Bloop the baby, who was waggling his arms about in his high chair. A uniform is what people wear for school, said Ma Alien. Special clothes.

[00:08:52] And what school? Said Blotto, tickling her baby brother's squishy green chin. Dada Alien came in with a pair of scissors. A place you go to learn things. Reading, numbers, all sorts. That sounded exactly like the sort of things she ought to try. And there was no time to waste with the new semester starting in precisely 37 minutes.

[00:09:22] I'm going to go, Blotto announced. Today, said Dada Alien. Right now. The piglets are going. Everyone's going. I need a uniform. Ma Alien and Dada Alien looked at each other. She can't wear fabric, Dada Alien muttered. She'll eat it by lunchtime. It was a fair point. Ma Alien grabbed a big roll of aluminium foil.

[00:09:52] Well, she won't eat this. Ten minutes later, Blotto stood in the kitchen, admiring her reflection in the toaster. A crinkled silver blazer folded stiff at the shoulders. A pleated foil skirt that crackled every time she moved. Two foil socks scrunched at the ankle. And, Dada Alien's finishing touch, a foil bow tie.

[00:10:21] Dada Alien looked her up and down. You'll fit right in. Blotto grinned, smoothed down her skirt, then set off across the desert at a run, glinting the whole way. The school was long and low, built from sun-bleached wood, with a yard full of creatures streaming through two big front doors.

[00:10:48] Blotto walked straight through the middle of them, her forearms swinging, and stopped in front of a tall, smartly dressed bear holding a clipboard. She was wearing a blouse, a tartan skirt, and high-heel shoes. Hello, said Blotto. I'm here for school.

[00:11:11] The bear looked at Blotto's six eyes, then her forearms, then back down at her clipboard, as though the answer might be written there. I'm sorry. We don't seem to have any record of you, er... Blotto? Blotto said. Right. Blotto.

[00:11:37] The alien from outer space, I presume. Blotto nodded happily. Blotto said. Which class are you in? I don't know. I've never been to school before. Ever in my life. I only decided to come 37 minutes ago. Miss Bear took this all in. Let me just...

[00:12:03] Mrs. Taggart, Mr. Frog, Professor Donkey... Donky? A few seconds later, the four teachers were having an emergency meeting in the corridor. No one had any idea what to do with the unexpected alien. We can't just leave her here, whispered Mrs. Tiger. We can't put her with the big ones, muttered Mr. Frog. She's never been to school before.

[00:12:30] And we can't put her with the little ones, said Professor Donkey, eyeing Blotto's alarming number of arms. The canteens run out of foil for the lunchtime paninis, said Mrs. Tiger slowly, eyeing Blotto's shiny uniform. Might be best to send her there first. Miss Bear shook her head.

[00:12:59] This alien has come to learn, Mrs. Tiger, not to provide the wrapping for sandwiches. She marched over to Blotto. We're very pleased to welcome you to our school community. Blim, blam, blip, blip, blip, replied Blotto, twisting her bow tie with one of her four hands.

[00:13:25] Miss Bear watched it spin, looking rather dizzy. Then she took a deep breath. Let's get you sorted, shall we? Blotto. She led Blotto to a row of metal cupboards, each with a number on the front, and stopped at number 41. There you are, dear.

[00:13:48] Now, I just need to make a couple of emergency phone calls about your, um, unexpected arrival. Blotto. And with that, she hurried off, her heels echoing down the corridor. Blotto studied number 47, a tiny room with a neat metal door. Blimps are flat, she whispered.

[00:14:18] Mrs. Pig's piglets had mentioned classrooms. This must be hers. Humming to herself, Blotto climbed in, folded her legs and pulled the door shut. Then she waited for the learning to begin. There wasn't much to look at. A metal wall on one side, a metal wall on the other.

[00:14:43] And in the corner, a cobweb strung between two hinges, with a very small spider sitting right in the middle of it. Are you my teacher? She asked. The spider didn't reply, which struck Blotto as rather odd. But perhaps this was one of those lessons where you learned by yourself.

[00:15:08] I'll do some numbers then, Blotto said, and started to count. One, two, three. She counted past 20, past 100, past 500, and still Mr. Spider said nothing. 671, said Blotto, wondering what on earth it would take to impress her new teacher.

[00:15:42] 672, 670. She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Intrigued, Blotto opened it to find Peewee standing in the corridor, looking confused. Blotto, I thought I could hear a voice. What are you doing in there? Learning, said Blotto proudly. This is my classroom. The classroom.

[00:16:09] Peewee looked at the locker, then at the alien. That's not a classroom, Blotto. That's locker 47. Oh, said Blotto with a giggle. Come on, said Peewee, giggling too. Let me grab my water bottle, then you can come to class with me. Peewee's locker was number 19. He took out his drink, then led Blotto through a door marked textiles.

[00:16:40] Inside, a dozen pupils sat at long tables, busy with their projects. A hedgehog was halfway through a stuffed hedgehog. A duckling was embroidering the wings on a felt duck. At the front, Mrs. Tiger was helping a rabbit, so button eyes onto her own half-finished lookalike. They were all making a stuffed animal version of themselves.

[00:17:08] But to Blotto, it looked like lunch, she exclaimed, eyeing Peewee's half-completed pig. Blotto, wait! Blotto, wait! Peewee started. But Blotto had already eaten it, the whole thing, in one bite, stuffing and all. The hedgehog dropped his needle. The duckling let out a horrified quack.

[00:17:34] Peewee stared at the empty space where his pig had been just seconds before. Blotto smacked her lips together. The pig had been delicious, but she was still hungry. She gobbled the hedgehog's hedgehog, the duck's duck, the rabbit's rabbit. Then every single stuffed animal on the table, before Mrs. Tiger's voice cracked across the room like a whip.

[00:18:04] Blotto, those are not for eating. Blotto froze. Blotto froze. A scrap of yellow felt hanging from her mouth. The whole class was staring at her. Blotto's face went a deep shade of green. The stuffed animals hadn't been lunch. They'd been her classmates' project.

[00:18:34] Mortified, she pushed past Mrs. Tiger and ran out of the room, her foil skirt crackling. Tears welling up in each of her six eyes, Blotto charged through reception, past the welcome desk, the water dispenser, the pot plants and the notice boards. Blotto, she would have made it all the way outside if a door hadn't opened on her right.

[00:19:02] Blotto, it was Miss Bear, standing in her office doorway with a mug in one paw that had some green writing on the front. Blotto said, Where are you going in such a hurry? Blotto didn't answer. She stared at her little green feet in their shiny foil shoes, panting hard. How has your morning been so far?

[00:19:31] Miss Bear asked. Blotto still didn't speak. That good? That good? Said Miss Bear, smiling kindly. Why don't you come into my office for a moment? She stood aside and the embarrassed Blotto stepped into the small room.

[00:19:52] There was a fish tank, a shelf of trophies and a photograph of a much younger, much shaggier Miss Bear standing outside the school gates. Miss Bear offered Blotto a chair. She sat on the very edge of it, ready to jump up again if needed. There was no way she was staying in school. She simply didn't belong here and Miss Bear would realize it soon enough.

[00:20:23] So, what happened? Miss Bear asked. I'm sure it can't be that bad. A little teething problem, perhaps? A huge teething problem? Blotto blurted out. A really, really enormous teething problem. She fixed her tear-filled eyes on Miss Bear. I ate the whole lot.

[00:20:53] Miss Bear raised a fuzzy eyebrow. The whole lot, Blotto. The projects. The stuffed animals. My classmates' self-portraits. I ate a mini peewee. Blotto cried, covering her face with her four hands. And it was delicious. She peeped through her fingers.

[00:21:23] I was starving, Miss Bear. I couldn't help it. Now everyone thinks I'm greedy or scary or just plain weird. But on my planet, that's what people eat. A stuffed animal's a very ordinary snack. Miss Bear surveyed the alien for a long moment. Can I tell you something, Blotto?

[00:21:53] She said eventually. Before I got this job, nobody wanted me here. I'm a big grizzly bear with sharp claws and teeth. Not exactly ideal teacher material. But you're a teacher now, said Blotto, gazing at her teacher. She didn't look grizzly at all. Just furry and friendly.

[00:22:24] I said, Because I didn't give up. Not the first time. Not the second time. Or even the third time I was rejected. I wanted to be a teacher. And I got there in the end. She nodded at the photo of her younger self, standing proudly outside the school gates.

[00:22:52] And if you want to be a student at this fine school, you will get there too. Blim, blap, blop, said Blotto sadly. I'm not sure I can. Trust the process. Miss Bear held up her mug, running a paw over the big green words.

[00:23:20] World's best teacher, Blotto read. I wasn't given this on day one, Miss Bear explained. I wasn't even given it on day 101. Sometimes it takes a little time to settle in somewhere, Blotto.

[00:23:45] But you'll get there in the end, if you persevere. Blotto sat back for a moment, taking this in. Then she inhaled deeply. Blap, blip, bling. Okay, Miss Bear. I'll give it one more try. Miss Bear put down her mug and stood up.

[00:24:15] Good choice, Blotto. I don't think you'll regret it. Together the bear and the alien left the office, passing the reception desk, the water dispenser, the pot plants and the notice boards. Blotto trudged along, heading for the science lab, where her classmates were now having their second lesson of the day.

[00:24:43] Her mind felt very busy indeed. What would they say when they saw her? They might laugh, call her names or even worse, ignore her completely. Blotto's heart gave a nervous flip as she pushed open the door. The chatter disappeared the moment she stepped in. Her heart fell to the floor, but Miss Bear put a steadying paw on her shoulder.

[00:25:15] Persevere, she whispered. And Blotto pulled herself up to her full height and held her classmates' gaze, hoping they could see how sorry she was. It was Pee-wee who broke the silence. He patted the empty stool next to him. Come and sit with me, Blotto. Blotto sat down so fast she nearly missed the stool.

[00:25:44] Thank you, she muttered in relief. Will you forgive me, Pee-wee, for eating your pig? Consider it forgiven and forgotten. Miss Tiger explained that on your planet you eat fabric. How are you supposed to know? Feeling a little better, Blotto turned her attention to the lesson.

[00:26:09] Everyone was building a model of the solar system out of polystyrene balls and wire. Half the class were in a muddle, their planets in completely the wrong order. Mine looks nothing like the one Professor Donkey showed us, the duckling quacked, staring at her model. Its planets all bunched together around the sun. Um, said Blotto rather shyly.

[00:26:37] I could show you if you like. If there was one thing the little alien knew well, it was outer space, having spent years flying through it. She held her breath, expecting the duckling to say no. But to her surprise, the little duck nodded and quacked.

[00:27:00] Soon Blotto was fixing not just the duckling solar system, but every single one in the class. She moved from table to table, straightening wires and swapping planets. Until every model was a perfect miniature replica of the real thing. Nice job, Blotto, said Pee Wee as the bell rang and everyone began packing up.

[00:27:30] You might be terrible at textiles, but you're a natural at science. It turned out, Blotto was rather good at maths too. Six eyes meant she could solve six sums at once, finishing the worksheet before her classmates had even completed the first question. Then she noticed the hedgehog stuck on his worksheet.

[00:27:56] Blotto hesitated for a moment, her pulse racing. She'd eaten the poor hedgehog stuffed animal and didn't know if he'd want her anywhere near him. But she thought of what Miss Bear had said and went to sit beside him anyway. Which one's difficult? She asked gently. The hedgehog pointed at question three.

[00:28:23] Then at questions one, two, four and five as well. All of it, he said, pushing the worksheet away sounding miserable. Blotto moved it back in front of him. Well, let's break it down, shall we? She said. Slowly, she showed him how to do it, her voice low and patient.

[00:28:54] When he got it wrong, she showed him again and again until eventually he got it right. You see, he just need to persevere. Miss Bear was right. They moved on to the next sum. Blotto pointing to the numbers while the hedgehog worked through each step out loud, checking with the alien before writing anything down.

[00:29:22] By the third sum, he didn't need to check anymore. He worked through it on his own while Blotto watched, ready to help if he needed it. Thanks, Blotto, he said when he'd finished all ten sums. It was kind of you to help me. It was kind of you to let me, Blotto replied. Blotto replied.

[00:29:47] The day went on like this, with Blotto surprising her classmates and herself most of all, with her knack for most subjects. And then it was time for the last lesson of the day. It was art and Blotto already knew exactly what she wanted to paint. She picked up a brush in each of her four hands and set to work on four pictures at once.

[00:30:16] Four pictures of her four closest classmates. Pee Wee the hedgehog, the duckling and the rabbit. Painting her new friends simultaneously, her six eyes moving between the four easels as she worked. When those four were done, she moved on to the next four and the next four,

[00:30:40] until she had completed a beautiful portrait of every member of the class. Shyly, Blotto handed them out, one at a time. For a moment, nobody said anything. Then Pee Wee held his picture up in front of him and gasped. Blotto, it looks exactly like me.

[00:31:07] The others gathered around, peering at their portraits and passing them carefully from one to another. Look at my beak, giggled the duckling. Look at my spines, cried the hedgehog. You even got every single one. And look at my ears, said the rabbit, touching them in amazement. They're perfect.

[00:31:34] Blotto's six eyes flicked from face to face. I'm sorry about your stuffed animals, she said quietly. I really am. You don't need to be sorry anymore, said Pee Wee. It was an accident. And accidents are always forgiven, Blotto. Plus you've made us these.

[00:32:00] And you help me out with my solar system, added the duckling. And you help me with my mask, said the hedgehog. Blotto looked at her new friends and felt something warm and fizzy bubbling inside her. Miss Bear had been right. You didn't have to be good at something straight away. You just had to keep going.

[00:32:29] Blotto smiled. She had come to school that morning knowing absolutely nothing about how it worked. She'd hidden in a locker, then eaten a whole classroom of stuffed animals and had nearly run home. But she had persevered. And now she was very glad she had.

[00:32:53] Outside, as everyone spilled through the front doors, the argument started almost immediately. Who would get to sit next to Blotto tomorrow? And the day after that? And the day after that? Bye, Blotto, called the hedgehog above the noise. See you tomorrow, shouted Peewee. Blotto waved all four arms as she set off across the desert.

[00:33:22] She was tired, but she couldn't stop smiling. She took the long way back, thinking of everything that had happened that day. And of Miss Bear, most of all, her kind, wise words. By the time she reached the old fabric factory, the sky had turned dusky pink and the first stars were beginning to twinkle.

[00:33:52] Inside, the lights were low and Bleep Bloop was already asleep in his cot. Ma Alien was folding little offcuts of cloth beside the stove. And Dada Alien was sitting at the table, eating a large plate of tartan tagliatelle. Well, he asked, looking up from his dinner. How did it go?

[00:34:19] I ate twelve stuffed animals, Blotto replied. Ma Alien raised an eyebrow. And sat inside a locker, thinking it was a classroom. I almost ran away, but then I decided to stick it out and- She said with a little shrug. It turned out okay. Dada Alien nodded. Things often do if we persevere.

[00:34:48] Blotto smiled. Exactly. In her bedroom, Blotto unclipped her bow tie and peeled off her foil blazer. Then, slipped out of her pleated skirt and shiny foil socks. One by one, she hung everything carefully in her cupboard, ready for the morning.

[00:35:13] Climbing into bed, she wriggled down beneath the covers and lay on her back staring up at the ceiling. In the darkness, she imagined the pictures of all her new friends smiling down at her. She saw the rows of suns and a large model of the solar system with every single planet in the right order.

[00:35:42] Blotto let out a happy sigh. She thought about the duckling, the hedgehog, the rabbit and peewee. She thought about Miss Bear and her green mug. She really is the world's best teacher. Blotto thought as her eyes began to feel heavy.

[00:36:09] The planets blurred into little circles of colour. The pictures softened at the edges. They were disappearing now. But her friends and that strange thing called school would still be there in the morning. She was able to live the house of a mattress. It was near a sunny light. She could remember her face. She was able to fly with two different things in the night. She was able to fly around and down the past. Thank you.