Aliens In The Middle Of Nowhere 👽 🌵 Sleepy Bedtime Stories For Kids

[00:00:11] Hello and welcome back to Koala Moon, a podcast of original children's bedtime stories and meditations designed to make bedtimes a dream. As always, we're starting off with a lovely little list of shout outs. We're saying happy birthday to Cora who's in Glasgow in Scotland, and you turned eight on the 21st of June, which is the summer solstice. Congratulations, happy birthday, Cora. We're saying hi to Finnegan who's seven in Summerland Canada.

[00:00:40] And we're also welcoming into the club Marty and his little brother Warren from Minneapolis in Minnesota. Coco and I want to thank all of you personally for paying to listen. Your support makes an enormous difference. It helps us to improve and it helps us to keep on writing and expanding our Koala kingdom and to bring you all these wonderful stories. You really are the best. We hope you love your bonus episodes and all your ad-free listening from now on.

[00:01:06] Coco and I'm going to thank you for joining us today. You've joined, if I may say so, at the most perfect moment because tonight we're all going on a special interstellar mission with a brand new Koala Moon family. And I mean brand new. Well, you've actually met the youngest member of this family when Flick and Jumble stumbled across him in the middle of nowhere, do you remember? But tonight we are finally going to meet the rest of Bleak Bloop's alien family.

[00:01:31] Yep, Nana Alien and Grandpa Alien are missing Bleak Bloop and his parents who are now living in the middle of nowhere. So when they're invited to join them, Nana, Grandpa and little Blotto decide to set off on the epic adventure across space. But as you can imagine, finding the middle of nowhere isn't that easy and their journey takes them to some unexpected places along the way.

[00:01:56] Okay, let's relax and get ready to listen and get to know our newest and most out of this world adventurous family. Close your eyes and in the darkness behind your eyelids, see if you can see little flecks of light like little stars in the night sky. Take some lovely calming breaths and look at those little pinpricks of light in the darkness.

[00:02:24] Perfect. It's time to begin The Aliens in the Middle of Nowhere by Annabelle Pitcher. Before we begin, here's a quick ad break, then we'll start tonight's bedtime story. If you'd like to support our podcast, enjoy ad-free listening and unlock all our premium stories, you can join the Coco Club. To join, follow the link in the show notes.

[00:02:49] It had been rather quiet on Patchwork 73-210 recently. Nana Alien and Grandpa Alien sat at the kitchen table and sighed. The high chair was empty, of course. Bleak Bloop the baby alien was nowhere to be seen. Without him, tea times were a lot more sensible, but a lot less fun.

[00:03:19] Grandpa Alien had made a wonderful feast of curtain casserole, but Nana Alien had barely touched it. She picked a defrayed hem of fabric, but didn't eat it. She couldn't, even though it was her favourite. Things just weren't the same without Bleak Bloop. Or Ma Alien or Dada Alien. Or Uncle Alien or Great Aunt Alien. Or Cousin Alien for that matter.

[00:03:45] They had all left Patchwork 73-210 a few weeks ago, when the baby alien had gone missing. It had started off rather well. The Catstronauts had contacted Patchwork 73-210 to organise an exchange with one of their great feline space explorers. A young, brave cat had arrived at Patchwork 73-210, and in return they'd sent...

[00:04:13] Well, it was supposed to be Blotto, Bleak Bloop's ten-year-old sister. She'd got ready in great excitement, packing her suitcase with four quivering green hands, keen to go and learn about the mysterious koala kingdom. Unfortunately, the Catstronaut rocket had taken off before she could even climb aboard.

[00:04:36] Bleak Bloop had sneaked onto the magnificent machine, and the Catstronaut pilot had flown off, zooming into the air, not a care in the world. After all, she had collected an alien for the exchange, just not the right alien. As soon as Bleak Bloop's family had realised the mistake, they'd followed the spaceship back to the koala kingdom, leaving Nana Alien, Grandpa Alien and Blotto behind.

[00:05:05] Just in case, Bleak Bloop found his way back to Patchwork 73-210. But he hadn't. The baby alien had been discovered in the middle of nowhere, and had decided he rather liked it. He'd made some great friends, flick and jumble, and potato and beans, and so the aliens had decided to stay for a while. But how long is a while?

[00:05:32] Nana Alien wondered as she pushed her plate to one side, abandoning the curtain casserole. A few weeks? A few months? A few years? Nana Alien gazed out of the window. Wondering what this middle-of-nowhere place was like. She was certain it wouldn't be anywhere near as beautiful as this planet, with its patchwork fields of gingham and velvet,

[00:06:02] its enormous knitted mountains, and its rivers of shimmering blue silk. The forest was made from thousands of different kinds of thread, and enormous buttons were scattered across the landscape like boulders. The sun was a giant golden spool of thread, slowly unwinding itself across the sky, while the moon was a silver thimble that appeared each night above the horizon.

[00:06:33] Even the stars were tiny sparkling sequins stitched into the darkness. Nana Alien nodded. Patchwork 73-210 was a beautiful place, all right. A little bit frayed in places, perhaps, and occasionally rather itchy, but beautiful all the same. She couldn't ever imagine leaving it.

[00:06:59] Just then, a call came through on the cosmic communicator, the little silver space phone that hovered in the air. It was shaped like a frisbee and rotated whenever someone rang. It's Ma Alien, said Grandpa Alien, spotting the faint hologram that appeared above the cosmic communicator as it word. Ma Alien, look! Ma Alien? Blotto replied, hurrying into the kitchen.

[00:07:30] She had missed her parents and her little baby brother very much indeed. They'd been in regular contact, of course, but nothing could beat one of Dada Alien's almighty forearm hugs. Answer the call, cosmic communicator, Nana Alien ordered the silver space phone, which let out a series of loud beeps. Connect with Ma Alien.

[00:07:57] There was a buzz, and a bleep, and a crackle, and then the hologram of Ma Alien deepened in colour and substance, and suddenly there was a life-size replica of Blotto's mother, floating near the ceiling. Speaking in bleepish, their native language, Ma Alien explained the situation to Nana Alien, Grandpa Alien, and Blotto.

[00:08:24] The family was settled in the middle of nowhere and wanted to stay forever. Nana Alien and Grandpa Alien exchanged a wide-eyed look. Blimsova, they said together. Forever? Blimsova, Ma Alien replied, confirming their worst fears. She nodded. Sorry.

[00:08:52] But then came a rather intriguing question. Speaking excitedly, Ma Alien asked Nana Alien, Grandpa Alien, and Blotto if they would consider moving to the middle of nowhere too. On a permanent basis. Right that very evening. Bleak Bloop was missing his grandparents and sister very much indeed,

[00:09:17] and Ma Alien and Dada Alien agreed the family just didn't feel right without them. So what do you think? Ma Alien asked, her hologram hovering near the light shade. Yes! cried Blotto in bleepish, punching the air with each of her four fists. I would love to. Make that two of us, said Grandpa Alien, his six googly eyes all aglow.

[00:09:47] Both Grandpa Alien and Blotto turned to look at Nana Alien, whose hands were tied together in a large green knot. But what about our home here, on patchwork 73-210? Our planet? What about the middle of nowhere? Blotto whispered, sounding awed. In the koala kingdom.

[00:10:16] Imagine it, Nana Alien. But Nana Alien couldn't. She had no idea what the middle of nowhere looked like. She had never even left her planet before. It's a desert, Ma Alien explained. Very sandy and very hot. You'll find it beneath the koala moon. The what moon? Nana Alien asked.

[00:10:46] But at that moment, the cosmic communicator cut out. The hologram faded and an empty silence reverberated around the kitchen. No one spoke for a long moment. And then, the what moon? Nana Alien repeated, sounding equally as baffled. The koala moon, Grandpa replied as if it were obvious.

[00:11:15] It's some sort of moon. He nodded wisely, trying to disguise his lack of knowledge. It had been a very long time since Grandpa Alien had had an adventure. And he was keen to go and visit this mysterious desert town. A koala moon, you know. Very straightforward. Very koalary. He gave a neat little shrug.

[00:11:45] Gronk Gloopis, Nana Alien said, using Grandpa Alien's full name. She narrowed her googly eyes into six shrewd slits. Don't give me that. You have no more idea what a koala moon is than I do. But isn't that the fun of it? Asked Blotto, very quietly.

[00:12:10] To not know what a koala moon is, or a desert for that matter, and to go and find out. Nana Alien looked at Grandpa Alien. Grandpa Alien looked at Nana Alien. And they both looked at Blotto, whose little green face was full of hope. Nana Alien sighed. All right, she said at last.

[00:12:39] We'll visit. Blotto gave a squeal of delight, while Grandpa Alien rubbed his four hands together with glee. Visit, Gronk, just for a few days, and then back to Patchwork 73-210, because this is where we live. Grandpa Alien didn't reply.

[00:13:04] He was already dashing towards their spaceship to check it over before the big flight, hardly able to believe his luck. Make sure we have enough space fuel for the return journey, too, Nana Alien called after him. But Grandpa Alien simply waved her comment away. Blotto grabbed the nearest suitcase from the store cupboard under the stairs and threw open the lid.

[00:13:33] She packed quietly, using all four hands at once. A tin of silk sweeties, three packets of salted tablecloth, a jar of pickled shoelaces, Grandpa Alien's favourite woolly rug, and several emergency cushions were shoved into the case. She added a pair of tasty-looking curtains, a bag of velvet handkerchiefs, and, after a moment's thought,

[00:14:03] an entire fabric lampshade. Nana Alien watched from the doorway, her face full of concern. We're only going for a short visit, she reminded Blotto. You do know that, right? I know, Blotto replied, before stuffing in three more cushions, just in case. Moments later, the front door was locked,

[00:14:30] and Nana Alien and Blotto were climbing into the spaceship beside Grandpa Alien. It was a magnificent machine, shaped like a giant flying saucer with a rounded domed top and a wide, smooth body that curved outwards towards the back. Its metallic sides were covered in brightly glowing strips of light, which flashed and shimmered as the engine prepared for take-off.

[00:15:00] Another light blinked from the tip of the spaceship's antenna, while the enormous glass windows wrapped around the front of the craft, giving everyone inside a wonderful view of the stars. Grandpa Alien pressed the start button, and immediately, the engine began to rumble. Do you even know where this koala moon is?

[00:15:27] Nana Alien asked as she fastened her seatbelt. How hard can it be? Asked Grandpa Alien, taking hold of the controls. It's shaped like a koala. Must be easy to spot. Not if you have no idea what a koala actually is, Nana Alien muttered in hushed bleepish. She gazed out of the window, feeling rather overwhelmed.

[00:15:58] Patchwork 73-210 was already falling away beneath her. She'd lived on this planet all her life, and she had never imagined seeing it from up here, where the whole thing looked small enough to fit inside a knitting basket. Nana Alien watched as 73-210 grew smaller, and smaller, and smaller still,

[00:16:28] until it disappeared altogether, and there was nothing to see outside the window, except enormous darkness, strewn with stars that glittered like sequins, stitched on black silk. For a while, nobody spoke. They passed planets of all shapes and sizes, some large and cold, others small and fiery,

[00:16:55] and then they began to see the moons. They were everywhere, enormous ones glowing brightly, and tiny ones that were barely visible at all. Some were golden, some multicoloured, some stripy, and some spotty, and one that was a peculiar shade of green that Nana Alien wondered if it might be unwell.

[00:17:25] Then she spotted something ahead that made her grab one of Grandpa Alien's four green arms. There was another moon coming towards them, but this one was different. It had a face, a long, heavy face, with two large ears, and two even larger stick-like things, sticking out from the top of its head.

[00:17:53] Nana Alien stared through the glass. Grandpa Alien leaned forwards in his seat. Blotto pressed her four squidgy hands against the window. Blotto. I think, said Grandpa Alien slowly, that we might have found the koala moon. Blotto frowned. Do koalas have antlers?

[00:18:24] Grandpa Alien smiled with more confidence than he actually felt. I believe so, yes. And with that, the spaceship turned rather sharply to the right and zoomed towards the animal-shaped moon, which was floating directly above a bright white planet made almost entirely of ice. The spaceship gave a wobble before touching down on the frozen planet.

[00:18:55] Well, said Nana Alien, taking in the icy landscape. I guess this must be the desert. Blotto cocked her head to one side. What's all the white stuff? Nana Alien stared at the powder, which covered every inch of the ground. Sand? Grandpa Alien grinned. It certainly looks like sand from up here.

[00:19:26] White and rather hot, according to my alien. Nana Alien opened the spaceship door and stepped outside. It was absolutely freezing. It's a funny kind of hot, isn't it? She said, her teeth beginning to chatter, as she stared at the enormous white slopes and frozen streams, twinkling in the light of the strange,

[00:19:55] animal-shaped moon. We're in the right place, though, Grandpa Alien said, appearing at her side. He turned his head this way and that, surveying the icy wilderness. If we were in any doubt at all that this is a hot, sandy desert, he went on, giving an involuntary shiver, then take a look at the koala moon. It was glowing brightly,

[00:20:25] its silver face clearly visible above the white peaks, two great antlers rising from either side of its elongated head. The moose moon, you mean? came a squeaky little voice from somewhere behind them. All three aliens turned to find a small, fluffy creature with antlers of his own. He had fur the colour of snow

[00:20:54] and tiny silver blades instead of feet. Effortlessly, he skated across the frozen ground, leaving two neat lines behind him, then came to a stop beside the spaceship. The moose moon, he repeated, pointing upwards. Nana Alien glanced at the enormous animal-shaped moon, then at the little creature.

[00:21:24] Not the koala moon? The little creature shook his head in a rather officious manner. Of course not, he said, pulling himself up to his full height, which wasn't very high at all. And, by the way, that sand you keep going on about is snow. And with that, the fluffy white creature pushed off down the slope

[00:21:53] and disappeared from view. There was a long, long silence. Then, Grandpa Alien cleared his throat. I think, he said slowly, that I may have made a teeny-weeny navigational error. Oh, just a teeny-weeny one, Nana Alien replied.

[00:22:23] The wrong moon, the wrong planet, the wrong temperature, and the wrong type of sand. Apart from that, it was spot on. Shaking her head, Nana Alien climbed back on board the spaceship. They had no idea what a koala was, or a desert, or how to find the middle of nowhere. It seemed

[00:22:52] an impossible mission. But, Ma Alien and Dada Alien were waiting, and Bleep Bloop was waiting too. So, Nana Alien fastened her seatbelt, took a steadying breath, and stared out of the front window. Onwards! The spaceship flew deeper into space, zooming past balls of shimmering gas, shooting stars, and rotating

[00:23:22] fiery rocks that left trails of orange sparks in their wake. The journey seemed as if it would never end. But then, Nana Alien noticed something that made her sit up straight. It wasn't the brightest thing they had seen, but it was the most beautiful. Another moon, this one tucked away in the furthest corner of space,

[00:23:52] hanging above a twinkling blue-green planet. It wasn't big or flashy, just calmly, reassuringly, there. Nana Alien found herself smiling, and for the first time since leaving Patchwork 73-210, she felt at home. The koala moon, Nana Alien whispered, because she knew

[00:24:21] with utter certainty that it was. It had two little round ears and a soft, kindly expression that made Nana Alien feel warm and safe inside. The spaceship turned towards the planet. At first, it was little more than a glowing ball. As they flew closer, the planet grew larger,

[00:24:49] until Nana Alien could see clouds swirling above its gleaming surface and patches of green and brown land interspersed with blue. As they descended through the clouds, the world below came rushing up to meet them. There were mountains, forests, jungles, great oceans and a vast expanse of gold, which is where the spaceship

[00:25:18] seemed to be heading. Nana Alien's eyes widened as she gazed out of the window at the huge yellow dunes, jagged rocks, spiky trees and strange twisty little bushes. This was it. This had to be the desert Ma Alien had described. Grandpa Alien guided the spaceship between two rocky hills, then landed

[00:25:47] with a soft thud, sending a little cloud of sand puffing up past the windows. For a moment, nobody moved. Then, the door opened. Ma Alien! Blotto was out first, hurrying across the sand with her arms outstretched. Ma Alien came rushing towards her, with Dada Alien close behind.

[00:26:16] They embraced each other warmly, all eighteen of their eyes glistening with happy tears. As Nana Alien stepped out of the spaceship, Bleak Bloop the baby alien grabbed one of her legs, picking him up. She squeezed him tightly, pressing her face against his. Grandpa Alien emerged from the driver's seat, wrapping all four of his long green arms

[00:26:46] around Ma Alien, Dada Alien and Blotto in an enormous family hug. There were kisses and squeals and a great deal of bleepish, all happening at once. the delighted aliens laughing and crying at the same time. When the excitement finally settled down, Nana Alien looked out across the desert wilderness, which was glowing silver

[00:27:15] in the light of the koala moon. Grandpa Alien followed her gaze. The middle of nowhere, he said with a yawn. We got there in the end. Nana Alien replied with a sleepy smile. We did indeed, Gronk Gloopis. We did indeed.

[00:27:44] Ma Alien and Dada Alien led the tired travelers across the desert to their new home at the very edge of town, an old fabric factory that had once been used to make all sorts of wonderful things. Now, the enormous windows were dusty and the walls were covered in faded paint, but inside it was warm and cozy with a plentiful supply

[00:28:13] of food, enormous rolls of delicious fabric and piles of tasty woolly rugs. In one corner of the factory stood an old cutting table, which Ma Alien had turned into a dining table, and all along the back wall hung a row of colorful curtains. Strips of material were missing where the curtains had been used to make casserole? Ma Alien asked,

[00:28:43] putting a large pot of Nana Alien's favorite dish on the old cutting table. Everyone sat down at the table and tucked in at once. Bleep Bloop immediately abandoned his spoon and grabbed handfuls of casserole, stuffing them into his mouth. Little pieces of curtain flew in every direction. One landed on Grandpa Alien's head, another

[00:29:13] stuck to Blotto's cheek, and a third hit Nana Alien in one of her six eyes. Nana Alien chuckled to herself as she removed it. It was hardly any time at all since she had been sitting at her own kitchen table on Patchwork 73-210, picking sadly at a curtain casserole because she couldn't bring herself to eat it. And

[00:29:49] one was better. Nana Alien stared down at her plate in surprise. Perhaps it was the desert air. Perhaps it was the old fabric factory. Or perhaps food simply tasted better when everyone you loved was sitting around the table. She ate her whole helping and another one for good measure

[00:30:18] and then feeling perfectly content let out a yawn. Ma Alien carried Bleep Bloop to bed, his four little arms hanging loosely around her neck, his eyes already closed, while Dada Alien showed Nana Alien and Grandpa Alien to their room at the back of the factory. There was a wonderful bed

[00:30:48] waiting for them with a smooth silver frame and a metallic mattress, something the aliens from Fabric 73 210 wouldn't be tempted to eat. The two old aliens climbed underneath a tin foil blanket, settling down beside each other. Outside, the wind whispered against the walls of the old factory, and somewhere

[00:31:17] nearby, bleep bloop made a tiny squeaking noise in his sleep. Nana Alien smiled. She thought about patchwork 73 210, far away among the stars, with its knitted mountains and silk rivers and great golden spool of a sun. nana she had grandpa alien

[00:31:47] beside her and she had this strange old factory filled with fabric and the soft sleepy sounds of the family she loved. She'd stay for a while, Nana Alien decided. A few days perhaps, or a few months, or maybe even a few years. As the reassuring light of

[00:32:17] the koala moon made silver of the vast desert landscape, Nana Alien pulled the tinfoil blanket up to her chin and smiled. The middle of nowhere wasn't home yet, but lying there beside grandpa alien, she thought it might be a place she could learn to love.